Why Bullying Never Works

Published 03.03.2025 - Michael A. Di Palma

Something I saw recently really stuck with me. It reminded me of the way power can be misused—how, in leadership, there’s always a choice between lifting people up or tearing them down. Watching that unfold made me reflect on my evolution as a leader. 

I’ve never been the kind of leader who intentionally bullies, but I can admit there were moments when I showed poor judgment—times when I reacted in ways that, looking back, I wasn’t proud of. Each time, I felt it immediately. I knew it wasn’t the kind of leader I wanted to be.

But experience changes you. You see what really works and what doesn’t. And what I’ve learned—what I now practice—is that real leadership isn’t about making people feel small. It’s about bringing them along with you. Even the ones you don’t agree with. Especially the ones you don’t agree with.

I see why people resort to bullying. It’s easy. It gives you a quick hit of power, makes you feel like you’ve won. But it doesn’t last. And it doesn’t build anything real. If you want long-term success—if you want to actually do something meaningful—you have to work with people, not against them.

As leaders, we set the tone. If we lead with intimidation, we give permission for others to do the same. And that’s how you end up with toxic environments, divided teams, and businesses that ultimately fail. But if we lead with respect, with openness, with a willingness to listen—even when it’s hard—we create something stronger, something that lasts.

I know this because I’ve lived it. I’ve seen both sides. And I can say with confidence: choosing respect, choosing to build people up instead of tearing them down—that’s not weakness. That’s the real power move.

Let’s take a moment to reflect on what we see each day and how it shapes us. Are we spreading kindness or fuelling cruelty? Do we choose to be bullies for a fleeting boost of confidence, or do we strive to be better people, creating a lasting, positive environment?

So I’m curious—how has your leadership style evolved over time? Have you had moments where you realized a shift was needed? I’d love to hear your experiences.